Bearding II

It has been five days since I began bearding, and already I have hit a snag. Friday morning, only two days into bearding, I had to shave. I know, I know. I’m disappointed in me too. I didn’t want to. It makes me angry just thinking about it. I was presented with an incredible job opportunity, and I had been granted an interview. The place is a very “professional” place, and that means you have to shave in order to work there. So, I shaved, went to the interview and was granted a second interview which will take place some time this week. This is ridiculous. What kind of message does that send? “Shave off your masculinity and we’ll give you the job.” I can’t stand this kind of thinking. Don’t they realize, the more beard I have, the more me I have. If a clean shaven me is great, then a bearded me is incredible. But our society says no. Shave your face. Be nice and pretty. We fear your awesome man-power. Hide the fact that you can grow hair on your face and chop down trees and wrestle wolves and write a song that would break our hearts and lift our spirits at the same time. NO. NO! WE ARE SCARED OF YOUR MIGHTY BEARD. WE ARE VAMPIRES AND YOUR BEARD IS DAYLIGHT, EXPOSING OUR WEAKNESS AND MELTING OUR FACES. Stupid society.
So what am I to do? If I get this job, I get alot more money and there is the opportunity for advancement into even more money. Is that all I care about? Would I sell my course, bristly soul for money? Possibly. I’m ashamed to say it, but I don’t have alot of money, and I would like some more of it. So unless you are going to send me money to write musings on beards, then I’m probably going to have to take the job. If I don’t take the job, I am going to be back on track with bearding, I haven’t shaved since Friday (its Sunday now) and I’ll just keep pressing on. I’ll only be a week behind Clay.
On a side note, many women Clay and I have encountered do not understand the beard. At first this was confusing, but I think I get it now. Most women have breasts. Breasts are a symbol of femininity, of beauty and womanhood. They show that a woman is able to bare children and incite fires in the hearts of men. They proclaim to all that if a woman gave birth she could nourish her young from her own bosom. She is delicate but strong, desirable and brilliant. She is a woman, for her mamories have told me so! BEARDS ARE BOOBS. It’s the same damn thing. As women hit puberty and develop, so do we. Women sprout knockers, we sprout whiskers. Do you see now, my sisters? All we want to do is have beards they way you have breasts. We welcome your chesty growth, ladies! Why can’t you offer us the same support? Just think about it.
I better go now. I will let you know as what happens with the job as soon as I know something more. Before I go though, I want you to know that your opinions and your ideas are important to me. I hope that as I go bearding we can all learn something from this. I think of myself as a field journalist, venturing out into wild country, sending reports back home, to educate, entertain, and enlighten. Please feel free to contact me with your thoughts and feelings as you take this journey with me. Also, I will soon put up a link so you can read Clay’s beardlogue as well.

With love,

Thomas